I've never been big with the New Year's Resolutions to begin with, but this year I have a list of goals I've been meaning to attend to that really deserve my energy, and I'm excited to begin. And for once, none of them have anything to do with body fat percentage or bouncing a dime off my ass.
In the beginning of the year, and I feel bombarded with New Year's fitness programs and diets to help finally achieve those health and fitness goals I've been meaning to reach for 20 plus years. But this time they feel empty and tired, and I just know that none of them are the magic bullet that will have me rocking a bikini like never before. And for the first time (ever, really) I just don't care. Let's face it, the only body anyone is paying attention to is their own. It just seems like the ultimate selfish act to throw all of my attention toward such a superficial goal. I'm all for health and fitness, but let's be honest, this one is all about looking good.
I want to focus on achieving goals that fill me up emotionally, and leave me with a real sense of accomplishment, rather than the superficial pleasure of looking slightly better in my jeans. Don't get me wrong, I am just as vain as the next guy, and I love to feel good in my skin. Nourishing my body and working it out in a healthy way are very important to my overall sense of well-being. I've spent so much time researching nutrition and obsessing about the same 5 pounds that come on and off throughout every year. I can't help but think of what I could have done with that same time and energy if I'd dedicated it to goals that would have a long-term affect on someone, even if it's me. I suspect that donating my time and attention where it is actually needed will give me far greater joy and satisfaction than any triathlon possibly could.
So here are some things I want to focus on in the New Year. Heck I'll just start today:
1. Dating My Children - This isn't about spoiling or over-compensating for the fact that I am a full-time working mom. This is about giving them the energy and attention that I would if I were, say, courting a man. So often I find myself trying to occupy them while I just get a little more laundry done, or clean the kitchen, but they aren't fooled. The most valuable thing I can do is give them my honest attention without looking at my phone or thinking about other things. And the beauty of attention is that it is free, and it encourages them to continue sharing with me because their words aren't falling on deaf ears. Listening with interest and awe to their ideas, jokes and anything they care to share with me in the moment. I will also remember to make their favorite meals more often, drink my coffee out of the mugs they made in pottery class, and plan fun, adventurous outings that they get excited about. There are so many things I would do in a romantic relationship that would be so much more appreciated by my littles than a date, it's silly not to apply the same principles in parenting. A special hairdo (for them of course.) Paint their fingernails, and let them paint mine. Volunteer once per month in their classrooms. Why not? These are the things that make everyday life fun, and we will remember when they are too old to dance like fools around the living room.
2. Reduce Our Toxic Load - Well, at home at least. I obviously can't control what they have out in the world, but it's easy enough to replace detergent, soaps, lotions, shampoos and our food with those that contain less harmful ingredients. Once I run out of and item, I will replace it with as natural an alternative as I can reasonable find. Done.
3. Reconnect and Connect with Female Friends - I've started reconnecting with female friends this past year, and it is really improving my sense of well-being. It can be hard at this age to nurture friendships, everyone is so busy and pulled in a thousand different directions. But a good old fashioned girl's night out is like a shot of joy straight to the heart. I often think positive things about other women, and how I'd like to get to know them better, although I rarely express it. When I do I am so glad I did. Selfishly, it makes me happy, and those connections are so much more important then we recognize. Also, continue to have quarterly nights out with my sisters and my mom. If I don't schedule it in advance, it won't happen!
4. Writing and creating - Writing is such a cathartic activity. It helps me get my hang-ups out of my head to make room for more productive ideas. I want to write without a thought about who will read it, simply for myself. And I want to write letters to my children for them to read when they are older. Simple thoughts I have about them during the days that may seem mundane or ordinary. I want to remind them about how they were as little people, and hopefully create a diary of moments they otherwise may have forgotten. Also, little pieces of advice I have from experience that will hopefully help them through those tough adolescent years. I don't know if they will read it all, but I've created an email account for them both, and I'm going to start today. I know some day they will get a kick out of my haphazard steams of consciousness, even if they it takes them until their thirties.
So there it is. I could go on and on about reading more books, seeing more live music and learning new skills, but I think this is good for now. These are ongoing activities that have no end or final goal they are things I want to incorporate in my life from now on. If I can do it, I have a feeling I'm going to feel the difference in my overall sense of well-being and happiness. Here's to 2017!
